1度的秋天
2005/11/17
1度的秋天
是給自己的壓力太大嗎? 還是努力的不夠?
夜晚的天空，滿天都是星星，月亮也亮得像個燈泡似的！只有1度的倫敦的秋天，天空一片雲也沒有...
不論是什麼人陪在身邊，總還是感到寂寞。人總是只能面對自己的，和人的距離，只有釋放多少的自己的分別。因此，我說人是寂寞的...
來到英國的這四個多月的時間，以及來英國前的那一年，我究竟在做什麼? 現在的我，究竟走在一條通往哪裡的路上? 竟然在我的腦袋裡模糊了起來。倒是更先前的我漸漸的變的清楚... 那個曾經覺得自己傷痕累累，拒人於千里之外的我。但現在看來，那種拒人於外的態度不過是一種自憐自哀的懦弱心態的盔甲，覺得別人都不懂、不了解。但是，那又如何呢? 一直期待著別人會了解自己的人才是最不了解自己的人啊!
這幾個月間，除了忙著唸英文的那段時間，是有很多的時間可以思考的。這段時間的我，竟然覺得自己迷路了，被一大片的黑暗籠罩，對自己使不上力... 或是說，不知該往哪使力，一切似乎都失去了焦點與意義。開始變的冷淡，安靜。對一切，都失去了熱情...
存在於心中的那團火燄，只有心中那個最陰暗的洞中生出的寒意才能熄滅；如黑夜一般罩下的冰冷，要靠心中的那股暖意才能驅散。
只有1度的秋天!? 倫敦還真是冷啊...
Labels:
碎碎唸--blah blah--
3 comments:
hiya. i was cleaning my marked web browser and landing in yours. just want to let you know that i'd been through more or less the same process as you. we look inward, feeling confused but also with more clarity about ourselves each time. i feel blessed being able to do so, as this isn't something we'll necessarily have the time/mood to do while being at the buzzing taipei. though sometimes the confusion and perhaps the loneliness may outweight every feeling that's inside us, i want to believe we'll turn out to more truthful to ourselves and to our surroundings, both good and bad. enjoy uk!
To anonymous,
nice to meet you~
Thanks for your comment. I did enjoy my stay in the UK, but I still have to back to the buzzing Taipei, and I'm in Taipei.
so, enjoy the UK.
oh i thought you are in the uk. i'm not currently in the uk but i'm at the moment stuck in europe. after years away from home i kinda realise that what my folks used to say actually make sense, especailly the "there is no place like home" part. anyways, i like what you wrote. keep up the good work and i'll drop by from time to time !
Post a Comment